I am renewed

Waiting For Renewal

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength…”  -Isaiah 40:28-31, NASB

Are you tired? Out of strength? Down on the ground with nothing left to give?

I know that one. Just a couple of weeks ago I asked my husband for a break. Not just for like an hour to go have a cup of coffee. I wanted a real break—like a weekend escape.  I wanted to book a solitary cabin by a lake in the hills and not talk to anyone. Not cook for anyone. Not deal with anything.

I’d done run out of fuel.

Sweet man that he is, my hubby said yes. I could book myself a quiet weekend alone. So, I began making plans. You know how those go, right? Well, just in case you don’t, here’s the short of it: I’m not going anywhere. Something else came up, and my hopes for a retreat got put in a box and sealed with packing tape.

Thing is, while that’s a bit of a bummer, I’m realizing that little escape probably wouldn’t have accomplished what I’d hoped anyway. Truth be told, I’m a bit of a bear when I come back from a trip because, while the days away are pleasant, jumping back into real life is overwhelming. And, getting down to the real issue I was wrestling, I’d have to admit that I was spiritually weary.

I was thinking about this as I drove my kids to school this morning. It was raining. The cool, soft drops splattered my car, and I had a moment to reflect on them while my son ran off to get in his line. The earth had grown dusty since the last rain, and the drizzle this morning washed it away. But the ground, though thirsty and yearning for renewal, hadn’t made it rain. It can’t. It had simply waited.

That struck a chord with me. The dust of my spiritual weariness had yearned for renewal, for cleansing, and while I can cry out to God to pour his refreshing spirit upon my soul, I can’t really tell Him when or how much. I can’t make Him do it according to my whim. I can only wait.

Spiritual renewal, I think, is something every one of us longs for at some point or another, and that’s a good thing. But we search for it like it’s something we can do or find for ourselves. It isn’t. We won’t find renewal in a secluded cabin, or from a spa day, or even in a cup of coffee. All good things, no doubt, and certainly nothing wrong with them. But, truly, if it is renewal we seek, waiting is the prescription.

Yet those who wait upon the Lord will gain new strength.

Lord, I wait upon you, for you alone will renew my spirit.